A Matter of Trust

I am a wilderness hiker. I love being in the wild, far away from civilization, becoming a part of the natural world and the natural order of things.  When I hike deep into the wilderness I have only the strength of my mind, body and spirit to keep me safe, as well as that of my hiking companion. We relay on each other and place great trust in each other to not only keep us both safe from harm but also to ensure our success and comfort.  This trust has been built over time through many interactions and ultimately the continued and predictable display of sincere and caring positive communication and supportive actions that always empower the other with success and encouragement to continue on.  I must trust my companion as she must trust me to feel comfortable, safe and capable as we venture through the untamed world.

Trust occurs on four levels, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. . .

First, trust occurs on a mental level. By this I mean that we must be conscience of our words and the meaning they relay. We must say what we mean clearly and without confusion and we must be consistent and predictable in our words and the meaning they represent. We must carry through as we stated and not give mixed messages that confuse, frustrate or cause resentment.

Second, trust occurs on an emotionally level. Our words and our actions must support a calm and relaxed, excepting and interactive emotional state. Our actions should never induce fear, anxiety, frustration or dispar. These emotional states only serve to create distance, mistrust and defiance. These are counterproductive to a healthy and trusting relationship.

Third, trust occurs on a physical level. Our actions should always support the physical well being and safety of the other.  Actions should never cause harm, pain or injury.

And forth, trust occurs on a spiritual level. I know that this may seem out of the box for many but I believe it to be a true and real level of trust our dogs as well as we confront on a regular basis. By spiritual trust I mean that we must work through our communication and actions to retain and support, if not build upon the joy and individuality of each other. Our actions and communication should always be in support of the individuals self and personal joys. There are times in the wilderness and in life as a whole that we surrender to each others guidance. We can only o this fully and with trust if we feel safe and that our best interest is at the forefront of the others thoughts and actions.

As I contemplate on how important these factors are with my hiking companion as well as the other people I share my life with  I can not help but think about the correlation this has with my relationships with my animal companions, Sean, my young but oh, so big Shire horse and Elsa, my beautiful and playful Bullmastiff dog. I want to trust them, that they will be attentive when needed, well behaved in social situations and at home. That I will be safe and comfortable with them. But they also want to, no, they need to trust me. If they are to seek my guidance, my leadership, follow my direction and feel safe with me in all ways I must earn and retain their trust. I do this by being conscience of each and every interaction I have with them. I must always ask, “does this action, interaction, reaction teach my dog/horse how to succeed and feel confident in her/his actions and build a trusting bond between us or does it act to oppress and cause fear. As I stated in an earlier post, I believe with all my heart and soul that we should strive to always, at the very least retain the joy (and trust) of each individual we meet, animal or human alike, if not build upon this.

May you find joy in all your relations,

Linda

The Choices We Make

Last September I set out on a cross country road trip to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to take a class with one of my very favorite scientists. It sounds odd to say this aloud, but yes, I do have favorite scientists! Kathy Sdao was giving an advanced clinic in behavior and learning theory.  I had attended another of Kathy’s clinics earlier that year and was impressed with not only her detailed knowledge but also the energy and spirit she brought to her teaching. She has a unique and special way of engaging her students, motivating their minds and empowering their ability. I was excited to be a student of hers once again.

As I arrived at the facilities where the clinic was to be held I was in shock. It was in a run down and littered industrial park that looked as it should have been abandoned long ago. I soon realized that on this weekend of an extreme heat index of 109 degrees we would be with out air conditioning, using porta potties and left with no place to exercise our dogs who accompanied us as our working partners for the clinic. This was a far cry from what I, and I am sure others, had expected and what I experienced at past clinics. I briefly considered leaving, but I had traveled far to be there and was really looking forward to the lessons I would learn from Kathy. If she was willing to teach under these conditions I would be ready to learn.  

The clinic was a great success. Despite the heat and humidity every one was having a great time learning and teaching their dogs. Kathy was in top form, displaying a happy and fully engaged demeanor.  Making comments about the heat and facility in good humor, I was sure she would never return to this facility for a clinic again. It was an incredible experience to see Kathy actually get better as the clinic progressed on. Drenched in sweat and sporting a bad hair day, she hit a peak of interest, engagement and sincere connection as she actually stayed after the clinic ended to talk with her students personally should they have questions. I waited until the last person had finished with their questions and then approached. I had to tell her what was on my mind. I told her of my cross country travel to see her and I thanked her. I thanked her for the sense of peace, the sense of belonging, the sense of acceptance, and the empowerment that I felt during the duration of her clinic. I told her how much I needed to be at her clinic that particular weekend and how it confirmed for me the choices we make. Given the worst of situations she shined throughout the entire clinic, only getting more vibrant as the time and heat worn on. She never missed a beat, not that we saw, or lost her sincerity, engagement or humor with us, her students. She chose to live from her joy, and to share it with all of us who came to learn from her. 

I believe that we all, animals and humans alike, are born with a pure and joyful soul. Life events and experiences can strengthen this joy or diminish it’s brilliance , like a crud covering the brightness and brilliance of our being. It is our choice to live from our joy, or to live from our pain in every moment and every interaction we have. How we live our lives, how we treat each other, and how we teach our dogs is a direct reflection of our choice. We must ask ourselves, with each interaction and moment of communication, does our intent, do our actions serve to control, oppress and teach fear,  or to build trust, confidence and ability? Every action, reaction, interaction with another being contributes to their whole and either builds on their joy or contributes to their pain. It is not just what teach, but very much so how we teach that renders our end results. May we all live from our joy, teach from our joy and spread our joy to all we encounter, humans and animals alike.

Kindly,

Linda

* You can learn more about Kathy Sdao, her clinics and read her informative articles on behavior and training by visiting her website at: www.KathySdao.com

Learning to Soar

A little more than ten years ago, I had decided to fulfill a lifelong dream and learn to pilot glider airplanes. Gliders, or sailplanes, are slim-line engineless air planes that rely on warm air lift and air currents to stay aloft. Gliders are generally towed up into the sky by another plane with a powerful engine. As the desired altitude is reached the tow line is released and the glider plane is on its own — the  soaring begins! Because there is no engine, there is no noise; as a result, the silence and sense of peace are ineffable. You can remain aloft, riding hot air currents (for as long as you can find them), and position yourself to take full advantage of this unpowered flight. Otherwise, it’s back to Earth, gently gliding in a controled descent back to where you started.

   

I learned to fly gliders in beautiful Chautauqua, New York (home of the Chautauqua Institute of Learning), at a small airport that sported a grass runway. It was a relaxed, but detailed, atmosphere and more men named Bob than is statistically possible! My instructor, Bob Dart, was the epitome of a great teacher. I learned more from him than merely how to prepare and pilot a glider airplane. The other lessons he taught me will remain with me for a lifetime. I often think of Bob and mention him in my classes. He was the ultimate teacher. I strive to teach each student I have the pleasure to guide as skillfully as he had taught me.

Bob generally maintained a calm, relaxed demeanor, especially when he was teaching. Nothing seemed  to stir his emotions nor did he ever ridicule or display disapproval. He was a positive man who knew how to bring the best out of his students, building not only ability, but also a confidence in that same ability. Bob had a very basic means of communication as he was teaching the art of flying.  He always sat in the plane directly behind me. To teach me, he would calmly and systematically explain the lesson as he showed me how it was done.  More often than not, I would loosely rest my hand on the  control stick (not a “steering wheel”) and could feel the communication that he was relaying to the plane. When it was my turn to try, he would calmly announce “you have it,” and let go of the stick; I was, as of that moment, in control — I was flying!  If I weren’t doing so well, Bob would gently say “I have it,” and take back the control, while showing me how to properly finesse the glider in a controlled flight. If I had been doing well, Bob would be whistling and just enjoying the ride. I loved when Bob would whistle; it reinforced my efforts and success, and it also relaxed me. It was hard to feel stressed when Bob was whistling, but if I did, he would gently put his hands on my shoulders and I’d feel the stress and tension just melt away.

What made Bob such an excellent and effective teacher was that he gained the confidence of his students. I trusted him, as well as his ability to teach me in a non-aversive manner that systematically built on my abilities. Also, I trusted in his ability to keep me safe. Without these factors, I could not have surrendered myself to Bob’s lessons nor would I have ever felt safe and relaxed while gliding so high above the ground.

As Bob would teach me to fly, he remained calm, supportive, and instructive. He always reinforced the behaviors and skills that he wanted to build within me. He never ridiculed or punished my mistakes. He would just set me up for success again and let me try my best to succeed, only moving on when he knew I understood the current lesson, since it would necessarily be the foundation for the next. He always taught in increments that allowed for my success, and he always remained consistent. I always knew what he meant and what he wanted from me, and so I couldn’t help but succeed under his direction. Everything he did helped to reinforce my trust in him and kept me wanting to learn more.

This is what I want to give my students, and the same thing I want my students to give their dogs: that we may all communicate with our dogs in a manner that supports trust, encourages active participation, and promotes understanding and ability. These are the goals of good training. When we achieve this, our relationships and the joy that  grows within us will soar!

May you find joy and peace in your relationship and communication with your dog, as well as with each other,

Kindly,

Linda

Welcome: An Introduction…

An early Sunday morning rain is falling, tapping out a broken cadence on the spring green canape that shelters me from the misty day that surrounds. The woods are quiet; a peaceful serenity overflows as I take each step deeper along the woodland trail.

This is my joy: the place where I come to find my personal peace, and also to connect with my dog. Elsa, my young bullmastiff follows along in a self-positioned heel, groveling with her silly grin for attention and play.  I smile down at her. She is happy, and so am I. But, in a sudden burst of uncontrollable energy, she is off, chasing a marauding squirrel that dared venture out of a tree to the forest floor that Elsa rules with a watchful eye. She is fast and agile, and deliberate in her actions, but always less than effective in catching up with intended prey. This pleases me.

Athletic for her breed, Elsa resembles an olympic sprinter, leaping over fallen trees, pouncing and circling in spurts of craziness. She tackles one of the many sticks and branches that cover the ground, wrestling in sheer delight, inadvertently destroying the helpless victims of her puppy-like battle. I smile as I watch her, delighting in her pure joy. She is the epitome of happiness and worry-free abandon: safe and secure, trusting and attentive. We are in sync. She is my girl, my companion, and, in many ways, also my teacher.

As I walk today, I marvel at how much joy she possesses, the joy she displays, and how much joy she imparts to me. I think about what I owe to her as her human, her guide, her protector, and her teacher. What stands out more than anything else is that I owe her the preservation of her joy. In every action, reaction, and interaction, everything I do and everything I teach, I owe her a level of communication that, at the very least, preserves her joy, and, at its very best, enhances it.   

                      

 

I am a trainer of animals, but also of people. It is my goal to teach each of my human student to let their joy shine, so that they may teach in a manner that preserves and builds upon the joy in their own lives, as well as in that of their companion animals.

It is also my goal that, through this blog, I can share with you not only the science of behavior and training, but also the spirituality and philosophy that guides my teaching, my communications, and my relationships with the animals and humans in my life. I believe that how we treat our dogs (and other companion animals), and the relationship we forge with them, is a direct reflection of our own joys, pains, shortcomings, and also our virtues. It is not just what we teach, but even moreso, how we teach, that matters.

I hope to share with you information and ideas that will help you teach in a manner that support the harmony and trust you desire in your relationship with your dog, and others, too. I invite you to share your thoughts and comments with me and the others who read this blog. Thank you for reading!

 

Kindly,
Linda